


You may as well paint a house that’s on fire

by Vmello



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Check notes for other chapter specific warnings, Homelessness, Homophobia, M/M, Modern AU, Sex Addiction, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 17:51:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4189293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vmello/pseuds/Vmello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So heads up, while sex and sex addiction are a pretty big part of this story and there will be 'smutty' parts in most (but not all) chapters if you are reading specifically for explicit smut this is not the fic for you. Most sex scenes will focus on why said intercourse is happening or Dorian's thoughts during than the actually sex itself. Also this will be the first part of a series that will eventually end in Dorian/Cullen. </p><p>This is un-beta'd and I really didn't feel like doing any editing tonight I'm really tired so I apologize for mistakes, I'll definitely do so tomorrow and write and actual summery I promise. </p><p>In addition to the tags there is some abuse in this chapter and mention of "pray the gay away" camps, both occur towards the end. </p><p> </p><p>You can find my tumblr <a href="http://av-mello.tumblr.com/">here</a> if you feel so inclined</p>
    </blockquote>





	You may as well paint a house that’s on fire

**Author's Note:**

> So heads up, while sex and sex addiction are a pretty big part of this story and there will be 'smutty' parts in most (but not all) chapters if you are reading specifically for explicit smut this is not the fic for you. Most sex scenes will focus on why said intercourse is happening or Dorian's thoughts during than the actually sex itself. Also this will be the first part of a series that will eventually end in Dorian/Cullen. 
> 
> This is un-beta'd and I really didn't feel like doing any editing tonight I'm really tired so I apologize for mistakes, I'll definitely do so tomorrow and write and actual summery I promise. 
> 
> In addition to the tags there is some abuse in this chapter and mention of "pray the gay away" camps, both occur towards the end. 
> 
>  
> 
> You can find my tumblr [here](http://av-mello.tumblr.com/) if you feel so inclined

Mornings where Dorian's favorite. Well, more specifically morning sex was Dorian's favorite. Morning sex was real, it was raw and passionate and slow. It's when you forget to hold back your moans, when you forget to make yourself look perfect, when you forget that you aren't allowed to have this. Morning sex was the best when it was with Rilienus. Rilienus with his infuriatingly perfect smile and gentle searching hands. Rilienus with his tanned skin that reminded Dorian of his father's good whiskey, the kind he would hide away for special occasions, just as enticing to steal a taste when no one is looking, and just as intoxicating.

Perhaps skin was Dorian's favorite. It would be hard to deny with the way his heart starts racing in his chest as he runs his fingers slowly along Rilienus' side, watching as gooseflesh raises in his wake. His skin was soft and smooth, unmarked and perfect. Dorian gently trails his lips along his neck, inhaling the scent of him, kissing his jawline to get a taste of him. 

"Good morning," Rilienus hums, voice raw with sleep, that ridiculously perfect smile tugging at his lips. Perhaps it would be safe to say that _he_ was Dorian's favorite thing, not that he would ever say so aloud, the man already had an ego that could blot out the sun. 

"Indeed," Dorian agreed, letting the other man pull him on top of him for a long, slow kiss. 

"What time is it?" Rilienus asked with a yawn. 

"I haven't checked, eleven I think. We still have time, my parents won't be home until late tonight," Dorian answered a frown tugging at his lips at the prospect of being caught. Rilienus notices his shift in mood and pulls him closer. 

"Your hair looks ridiculous," Rilienus murmured against his mouth, running fingers through his haphazard locks.

"And you have morning breath," Dorian retorted, pulling back and running his hands through the his lovers hair, tossing his dark curls askew. "Perfect," he declared, smiling down at his handiwork. Rilienus let out an undignified snort and rolled them over. Dorian could feel Rilienus smile against his mouth as they kissed, slow and sweet. 

Dorian loved these moments, not that he would admit it. He loved the domesticity of it. Loved waking up being held in someones arms like hes some precious thing. Loved the gentle touch of Rilienus' hands and the press of their bodies. He loved the feeling of Rilienus' fingers stretching him open, preparing him to be fucked. And, of course, he loved the fucking. He loved Rilienus as well, he would never admit to it, just like he knew Rilienus would never admit loving him. Never out loud at least. There was too much at stake for both of them, love was not an option. 

Soon moments like this would be fewer and farther between. The new semester would start and while Dorian still had one year left of high school Rilienus would be off to his first year of collage, in Minrathos, over a two hour drive away. Even if Rilienus would want to continue this liaison of theirs, even if he doesn't find someone more accessible, someone more convenient, they wouldn't have moments like this anymore. They wouldn't have slow, lazy mornings of holding each other. Dorian doesn't want to think about that, about how he might be losing the one person who made him feel whole, especially not while said person is whispering praise of how perfect he is in his ear while they fuck him so gently he could cry. 

After they are done they just lay there for a while. A tangle of limbs as the sun warms them through the window. 

"We should probably get up," Rilienus said trailing his fingers up Dorian's spine. Dorian just hummed a half agreement and wrapped his arms tighter around the other mans waist. "We should take a shower, probably wash your sheets," he continued, only to trail off with a grunt as Dorian rolled over on top of him, just to lay across his chest as dead weight and glare at him with tired eyes. "Dorian, it's midday," he said with a slightly exasperated sigh, "We can't lay in bed all day. What if I make you pancakes? Would you stop acting like a petulant little child then?"

"Possibly," Dorian replied nuzzling against his lovers neck. "We'll only find out if you try. Oh, and make mine chocolate chip if you don't mind," Dorian called out as Rilienus picked up his discarded pants from the night before and left for the kitchen. For a moment more Dorian stayed in his bed, he could still feel warmth from where Rilienus' body just was. He rolled over into that spot and closed his eyes, inhaling the smell of his lover and felt at peace for a moment before forcing himself out of bed and into his bathrobe before following the other man into the kitchen. 

After a late breakfast and a relaxing hot bath they found themselves reading on a plush sofa in the library. Rilienus was skimming some collection of poetry sprawled out on the sofa with Dorian laying between his legs, chin resting on his abdomen as he flipped through the pages of Michio Kaku's 'Physics of the Impossible' for what might honestly have been the hundredth time. Dorian glanced up over his book when he felt eyes on him to see Rilienus staring down at him with a devilish smirk. 

"See something you like?" Dorian says with feigned indifference, flipping his page without actually reading any of the words on it. 

"Well, you know I'm easily distracted by pretty things," Rilienus replied, and Dorian curse both Rilienus and himself in his head as he fought the smile that twitched at his lips. He hated how even the slightest compliment from the man elated him. It made him feel like a vending machine that if you pay enough complements sex falls out. Well, if he's going to be a whore for the attention he may as well milk it.

"Pretty you say? It must be very lovely indeed to distract you from your reading, do tell," he encouraged, crawling up to kneel between Rilienus' legs as he spread them wider enticingly, gently teasing his hands up the mans thighs in a barely there touch, causing him to shiver slightly. 

" _Very_ lovely," he started, grinning at Dorian, "I caught sight of the most gorgeous man."

"Tell me more," Dorian said as he unfastened the button of Rilienus jeans, leaning down to trail kisses from his waistline up to his navel before latching onto his neck with tongue and teeth, rubbing at him through he cloth of his underwear. 

"He's absolutely striking, reminds me of ancient busts, all symmetry and sharp lines, and the best fucking cheekbones, _fuck_ ," he moaned as Dorian took him in hand, stroking him so slowly it was almost torture. 

"Do go on," Dorian continued to encourage as he pulled away long enough to find lube.

"He's fit but not obnoxiously so, lean, taunt, with an ass that's absolutely to die for," Rilienus continued, given the aforementioned rear a squeeze for good measure when Dorian repositioned himself between his thighs. "And these full lips. I can never get enough of those lips, the way they taste, the way they feel wrapped around my cock," he pauses to moan as Dorian resumes stroking him, "And his eyes, they're the most amazing fucking color, like storm clouds a-and, _ah,_ and, _f-fuck, Dori, yes_ ," he cuts himself off with a wanton moan as Dorian starts thrusting a finger into him. 

No, this was definitely Dorian's favorite. He can't think of another sight that leaves him more breathless than his lover writhing in pleasure beneath him as he stretches him open, adding second finger. While he loved the feeling of being filled and fucked senseless he loved this just as much. Loved putting all of his focus on his partner, on their pleasure, on being the person to get them off, and Maker could he get Rilienus off. They had done this so many times they knew each others bodies better than their own. He knew just the way to touch him to send him begging for more and he _loved_ it. The sound of Rilienus moaning his name, begging to be fucked was better than any symphony. 

They were entirely lost in each other. All hot open mouth kisses that where more teeth than anything, but careful not to leave marks where they could be seen. They were lost in each other and they forgot about the world around them. Dorian was so enthralled in his lover that he didn't hear the tell tale signs of his parents returning home early. He didn't hear the the footsteps as they sounded down the hall to the library. He didn't hear anything until the head of his cock was pressed against his lover entrance and the door to the library creaked open and it was too late. 

"Dorian!" his father's voice boomed, his mother gasped and quickly turned away to leave the room, her hand clasped over her mouth and tears already welling in her eyes. Dorian jumped away from Rilienus in shock, tucking himself back into his trousers, Rilienus trying frantically to cover himself as well. 

"Father! I, this isn't-"

"Get out of my house," Halward said coldly, his voice dripping in disgust as he glared at Rilienus as he hastily pulled on his trousers. 

"Dori..." he said quietly, his eyes sad. 

"Just, just go," Dorian said, voice cracking, unable to look at his lover as he felt the disgust of his fathers gaze turning to him, burning into him like fire. 

Rilienus hesitated, just for an almost imperceivable moment at the door, but he left without looking back. As soon as the door clicked shut Dorian felt the harsh sting of the back of his father's hand across his face. He gasped and stared up at the man as he grabbed his arm roughly and shook him slightly. The burning on his face from where he was struck and the sting of the hand holding to tightly on his bicep felt like nothing compared to the pain in his heart as he looked into his father's eyes and saw an honest repulsion. Eyes that used to be filled with pride.

"What were you thinking," the man hissed, "What if one of the maids came in, what if they saw your... your _deviant_ behavior. Why would you do something so..." his father made a disgusted noise when words seemed to fail him. "You put my career at risk, and your mother's, and your own before you could even start it! And for what?!" he shouted shaking Dorian violently. 

"Please, y-you're hurting me," Dorian pleaded, barely able to keep the sob out of his voice as he tried to pull his arm away. He had never seen his father so angry, so feral, and he was terrified at what he might do. When the man did let go he did so with a shove, making Dorian stumble back a few paces. 

"And what of Livia? Do you think she would still want you if she found out about, about _this_?"

"Livia? Livia?! You think I care what Livia thinks? I told you a thousand times I want nothing to do with your arranged marriage! I barely know the girl, why would I care what she thinks of me?" Dorian voice still wavered with the tears he was fighting but his anger was also seeping through. 

"Oh? And you would rather what? Marry that boy? He's using you Dorian. I did not raise a fool, you must know this. Love can not exist between two men. He could never love you."

"NO! You don't know that, you do not know _him_ and you have no right making such assumptions."

"Dorian," Halward let out an exhausted sigh, letting the anger drain out of his face, looking instead tired and sad. He gripped his sons shoulders lightly and Dorian struggled not to flinch away from him. "You're sick, Dorian, we can fix this," he pulled his sobbing son into an embrace. "We'll fix you, we can make this right."

"Fix me?" Dorian gasped between sobs.

"I should have seen this coming. We should have been more insistent that you and Livia get close sooner, it may have avoided this and the media adores 'young love', but it is too late for that. We will get you a therapist, someone who's silence we can pay for. There are camps, and organizations who can change you, make you straight. No one has to know about this."

"W-what?," Dorian stammered, trying to push his father away. He knew the kind of camps he spoke of, the kinds of 'organizations'. He heard of them before, and back when he did think he was sick, thought that what he wanted was wrong. He read about them, to see if they could help him. He read accounts of abuses, of triggering exercises that forced men to admit how 'sick' they are, about the brainwashing and the suicides. "No! No, no, no. You want to change me?" Dorian could do nothing to hide the way his voice cracked around the words, his sadness bleeding into each syllable.

"It's for the best Dorian, we can still fix this, we can still make you normal."

"I am normal! I'm not broken I don't _need_ fixing. Please don't do this." Dorian's father strikes him again, harder this time.

"I will not have have a fag for a son. You will do as you're told. You _will_ stop this deviant nonsense, you _will_ marry Livia and father her children and _pray_ that they will not grow up to be as insolent as you have been, and if you can't you will learn to lie."

Dorian's world was crumbling out from underneath him. He had loved his father so much, he admired him and did all in his power to make him proud. He thought his father loved him as well, but the world seemed to blur around him as they yelled at each other. He couldn't for the life of him recall all that was said as the words "You are _no_ son of mine" were the only ones that echoed in his head. He remembered pleading with his mother as his father dragged him through the kitchen. She was sobbing, clutching desperately to his almost empty bottle of wine, refusing to look at him, and he remembered the sound of the door as it slammed behind him, an angry loud bang that rang in his ears. 

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, on the porch in front of his door. He knows he was no longer crying, he couldn't, he was in shock. He had no home now, no family. He could feel flesh of his cheek swelling around his eye, but otherwise he wasn't sure he felt anything. Empty maybe. Lost. He took a deep inhale that burned his throat, still raw from crying and screaming, and started to walk. He didn't know where he was going but he couldn't stay here.


End file.
